An Orchid Is Born Again

I’ve always had a passion for Orchids. Until just a few years ago, I only grew Orchids. Not a house plant was to be found in my home. Then, tragically, in January of 2004, my Mom had a cardiac arrest during the night and died suddenly. For 3 months after her death, I couldn’t function. The loss was unbearable. Almost instantly I lost interest in most of the things she and I shared together (Orchids, crafting and gardening were just three of these things) and it wasn’t long until my Orchids began to die… Out of the 15 Phalaenopsis Orchids I had, today I have only one left and she(all my Orchids were girls)  has not flowered in 4 years either.

I am to blame, there is no denying that. I didn’t want them to die and I didn’t intentionally let them either… I just didn’t love them as much as I once did: I didn’t pay as much attention to them.

Contrary to what most people think, Orchids aren’t that fussy… not if you make sure they get the right amount of everything they need: Light, water, food and the proper living conditions… and love. If those things are provided consistently, Orchids thrive. But if one element is removed, even for a brief time, it throws them off and it takes them a really long time to recover. Kinda like me. I often used this analogy to explain how I feel about having lost my Mom… my best friend. That element was taken out of my life suddenly and it completely and thoroughly threw me off.

Since I had my epiphany over the Holidays (back in my much-too-luxurious suite in Cancun), I finally feel like my heart is mending. I saw clearly for the first time in (too many) years. As much as that trip often made me feel uncomfortable, it gave me a tremendous opportunity to reflect on my life and what I want out of it and it gave me the ability and clarity to map everything out.

Since I’ve been back from Mexico, I actually started saying my Mom’s name out loud for the first time (MARY), rather than just refer to her simply as “Mom”, which is what I had been doing. I still haven’t been back to the cemetery since her ashes were laid there but I feel like a visit will happen soon too. My sewing kit is out a lot more (making those reusable bags I was referring to in a previous post) and pillow covers for Maya’s dog bed… Small steps, but solid ones. To continue with the Orchid analogy, my leaves are getting stronger and I think I even feel a flower stem growing on which many flowers will appear soon.

In case you are wondering, my remaining Orchid is bigger and healthier than I have ever seen her. Four new leaves have grown on her this year alone. It won’t be long before a stem pokes out of her too and hopefully I will get to see those yellow blooms I miss so much (it will look like this beauty).